i feel ill this morning. went to bed at around 1am feeling crappy. woke up around 3:30ish am and spilled my guts. actually, i woke up several times to vomit. no clue of what the fuck i was throwing up, because as much as i did, i'm pretty sure there was nothing else in my system, so ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! i must've literally spilled my guts.
okay, and also i despise my fucking job. i attempted to call in sick and these are my manager's exact words "you just better have your ass in at the time you're scheduled". pisses me the fuck off, because generally i try to be a nice person, you know, because of my violent temper of the past and such, i want to be a better person and stuff, but like AUGH! fuck it, i'll drag myself in, and the moment she says anything to piss me off, i'll walk out. if i feel even worse, i'll walk out. i hope whatever i have is contagious and she catches it.
what does cheer me up, despite being sick, despite being angry, and despite the off and on depression is knowing that tuesday i'll have the other half of the money needed to buy my eclipse. tuesday i go back to ups, to fill out the paper work, possibly even start work that day? i'll like it there a lot better.
oh yeah, i was thinking, Scott should like, start calling fucking meetings or something, so like, i know where's he's trying to go with sov ind. all i know right now is what i need to get done to my car, once i get it, duh. we should do shit together sometimes tho. oh, and did i mention that i am so over Ashley now? fuck yeah, i don't have time to play around, and i sucks that she gave mixed signals and fucked with my emotions, but look, i guess when i meet that special girl, it'll happen, right? i'm going to lower my expectations/standards, because like, i've been waiting for this "perfect" girl, with the exact same interests as mine to just fall from heaven, but maybe it'll be more interesting to meet someone who's a bit different, yeah. whatever, i still feel like shit. you know who i haven't heard from in ages? lindz. actually, i haven't really heard from any of my friends lately, so whatever, but i do miss you guys. maybe we should all hook up sometime and do something fun, like bowling, or do the butterfly, you know, with it getting hot and all, ciao.